Journalling as a tool for emotion regulation
“Once I bring awareness to what needs healing – bring light to it, forgive it, and love it, that’s when change happens.” Melanie Millard
I will sometimes offer journalling as something to do between sessions, for clients, if writing resonates with them. It can be a powerful complementary activity alongside therapy. Through the act of writing down your thoughts and emotional experiences, you are externalising them, freeing them from the confines of your mind and gaining some space, and often fresh perspective. This process of externalising and creating space between yourself and your thoughts, provides the opportunity for you to be more responsive rather than reactive. Within the context of counselling, externalising thoughts and emotions is a technique that transforms the intangible inner experiences into more tangible, observable representation of the inner world. This physical representation of your inner experience can foster enhanced self-reflection, deeper understanding, and improved emotion regulation.
We are all different, and using journalling doesn’t suit, or support everyone, or all of the time. It is one tool, in a toolbox of many techniques, to manage and explore your inner workings and how these are impacting your life - your behaviours, and your thoughts and emotions.
Some purposes for journalling:
To clear mental clutter: reducing overwhelm and improving sleep
To cut through the negative self-talk blocking your progress, and get to the other side to be clear and confident about what you’re embarking on
To identify patterns of thinking or behaviour and grow self-awareness
To cultivate the good – by practising gratitude
To channel your inner coach – use self-talk in a written format to boost yourself up and get clear on the direction and focus you’re taking.
How journalling supports emotion regulation
“I don’t let go of my thoughts, I meet them with understanding. Then, they let go of me.” Byron Katie
Journalling can be a powerful tool for emotion regulation for these reasons:
Self-Reflection: Journalling provides an opportunity for self-reflection and self-awareness. By writing about your emotions, experiences, bodily sensations and thoughts, you can gain insight into the underlying causes and triggers of your emotions and how they show up in your body, and in your reactions or responses to day to day interactions. This increased self-awareness is a first step in effectively regulating and managing your emotions.
Emotional Expression: Journalling offers a safe and private space to express your emotions freely and without judgement. Writing down your feelings allows you to release repressed emotions and gives you a sense of emotional relief. It can help you process and make sense of your emotions, reducing their intensity. This can feel like a weight has been lifted from you, when the feelings have been allowed to be expressed in a safe and appropriate way.
Cognitive Processing: Writing about your emotions and experiences can help you make sense of them on a cognitive level. By exploring your thoughts and beliefs surrounding your emotions you may identify thinking patterns which can then be explored for how true they are, where they stemmed from, and whether they’re serving you well now. This can be challenging and so please remember you don’t need to do this all on your own. Reach out for help if you’re needing support in managing beliefs that are self-limiting yet difficult to change.
Problem Solving: Journalling can help you problem-solve and find solutions to challenges or issues causing you emotional distress. By writing about your concerns, you can explore different perspectives, brainstorm ideas, and develop action plans to address the underlying problems. This process can contribute to a sense of empowerment and improved emotional regulation.
Emotional Processing and Integration: Journalling can facilitate the processing and integration of emotions. It provides a structured and intentional way to acknowledge, accept, explore, and make sense of your emotions. As you write, you may notice patterns or recurring themes in your emotional experiences, allowing you to understand yourself more fully and develop strategies for managing yourself effectively. Again, reach out for help with this if you need it. This is important work and can benefit from being done with a professional; especially when the patterns are having a significant impact on your relationships and your day to day activities.
Stress Reduction: Engaging in regular journalling can serve as a form of stress relief. It allows you to unload your worries, fears, and frustrations, from your inner landscape to paper. This helps reduce emotional and physiological arousal - deactivating the fight flight mode. This, in turn, can promote a greater sense of calm and well-being.
When journalling for emotion regulation, it can be helpful to focus on describing your emotions, exploring their causes, challenging any negative thoughts or beliefs, and identifying potential solutions or coping strategies.
Experiment with different journalling techniques, such as stream of consciousness writing, prompts, or specific gratitude exercises, to find what works best for you.
Journalling prompts can help. When you're unsure where to start or what to write about, use journalling prompts to spark ideas and guide your writing. There are many prompts available online, in journalling books, and of course from your imagination. Some I’m currently using for self-reflection and habit change are: How am I proactively pausing and listening to what I need today? What healthy coping strategies are my go-to’s today? What will I do to show kindness to myself today? Where am I choosing to experience joy in my day, today? Read my 20 Journal Prompts blog, for further ideas here.
What if I don’t find journalling helpful for emotion regulation?
Emotion regulation strategies vary from person to person. What someone else finds helpful may not suit, or work for you. Here are some other ways to support you in regulating your emotions that you may like to experiment with:
Artistic Expression: Creative outlets such as painting, drawing, writing, or music can serve as a means of expressing our emotions. Art (including digital images) offers a way to express and communicate complex emotions that may be difficult to put into words. Artistic expression provides a non-verbal and symbolic outlet for processing and releasing emotions.
Physical Movement: Physical activities like exercise, dance, or sports can also help to release built-up energy around emotions. Physical movement allows you to channel your emotions and release them through your body, reducing emotional and physical tension. Activities like punching a pillow, stomping your feet, or screaming into a cushion can also provide a physical outlet for intense emotions. Alternatively, some gentle, and simple movements like this Mindful Movement series I recorded on YouTube, may be a helpful option too.
Talking and Sharing: Articulating your emotions and thoughts through conversation with trusted family or friends, and talking about your experiences, challenges, or emotions allows you to give voice to them and an opportunity for them to be validated, and fresh perspectives shared. It is important to discern who you can share with safely; who has earned the right for you to be vulnerable with.
Therapeutic Techniques: Certain therapeutic techniques, such as art therapy, sand tray therapy, or psychodrama, use externalisation as a way to explore and work through emotions symbolically, enabling deeper exploration and healing.
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping: EFT Tapping is a holistic healing technique that involves gently tapping on specific meridian points on the body while focusing on emotional issues or challenges. Tapping on these points can help to regulate the nervous system and release some emotional tension. An example video from me is here.
How to make journalling a regular part of your routine
Making journalling a consistent part of your routine requires building a habit and finding strategies that work for you.
Here are some tips to help you stay committed to journalling:
Start Small: Begin with a realistic and achievable journalling goal, for example, decide to journal for just a few minutes each day, or a few times a week. Pick the time that will work best for you to show up for yourself to write.
“Frequency trumps duration when forming habits.” Nicky AngeloneBe Consistent: Consistency is what reinforces a habit. Remember this is where starting small is important - you are more likely to be consistent if the goal you set yourself is realistic and achievable. Along with a dedicated time, you might find there is a particular location that is more conducive to this quiet practice.
Create Reminders: Is there something you can use as a prompt or a visual reminder – to remember to journal? For example, a phone notification or alarm, a sticky note on your computer, or placing your journal and pen in a visible, and obvious location where you’re likely to see them at the time you’re wanting to journal.
Link it with an Existing Habit: Attach journalling to an activity you already do daily, such as having morning coffee or sitting down after dinner, or winding down with an evening routine. You could journal for a few minutes immediately before or after breakfast or your first cuppa, or after dinner, or just before going to bed. Or at lunchtime. It could maybe help you to take that lunch break, or a break from work, you’ve been skipping and know is important for your wellbeing.
Find Your Ideal Environment: Find a comfortable and quiet space, ideally where you can feel inspired and focused. Having a designated journalling spot can make the practice more inviting and support it happening. Enjoy the Process: habits need to be enjoyable if they’re going to have a chance of being embedded into your life. It could be the book or pen, the place or environment, or what you do as you journal – maybe a favourite cup of tea accompanies you or a reminder of the importance of taking a break. Creativity is your friend and the sky is the limit; colourful pens, cosy spaces, your favourite playlist, a scented candle…it’s a great opportunity to embrace your inner creativity; you really can’t go wrong, it’s completely about what works for you.
This practice is all about holding focus on progress, not perfection.
View your journal as a safe and compassionate space or activity through which to support your emotion regulation. Don’t worry about grammar or any other factors you may have been influenced by when writing in other areas of life. You can let your guard down and drop any forms of judgment; give yourself permission to make mistakes or get things wrong.
Keeping your journal private
If you're concerned about the privacy and confidentiality of your journalling, there are steps you can take to ensure that your writings remain for your eyes only:
Find a Safe Storage Place: where you can keep your journal secure from being discovered or accessed by others; a lockable drawer, a locked box, or a personal safe could work.
Use a Disguised Journal: consider using a disguised or inconspicuous journal, such as a notebook or journal that doesn't immediately appear to be a personal diary.
Online or Digital Journalling: If you prefer digital journalling, you can use password-protected journalling apps or software to keep your entries secure.
Write Discreetly: If you're concerned about someone reading your journal in real-time, write more illegibly, or smaller font. It’s not easy to read over someone’s shoulder and if the script is cursive like and small this makes it even more difficult. You can adjust your position so you are seated looking outward toward other people too.
Remember, the most important aspect is finding an approach that feels comfortable and secure for you to express yourself. Trusting your gut instincts and making necessary adjustment can help alleviate your concerns about someone reading your journal.
If you enjoyed this blog post you may like to read the other posts in my journalling series:
And, if you would like to pair your journalling practice with structured therapy sessions, I offer 1:1 counselling sessions. We can work together on an individualised approach to your needs, with strategies that suit your goals and your lifestyle.
Book a complimentary 10-minute consultation to find out more.