Mindful Approaches to Holidays: Nurturing Self-Care and Boundaries

Self-care and boundaries are game changers in moving through family celebrations, which can be fraught with complicated emotions.

Below are my top 10 tips for incorporating mindful awareness into these times, to support your energy, with boundaries and self-care.

The end of the year brings with it a hustle and bustle of activities, deadlines, and festivities, and these can leave us feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. But it doesn't have to be this way. These practices and strategies I’m sharing are inspired by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Focusing-Oriented Therapy, to support you in creating more meaningful, present, and harmonious connections and experiences.

10 Therapist-Approved Tips to Mindfully Nurture You Through Holiday Celebrations

1. Pause and Breathe

Start by taking a moment to centre yourself with a deep breath. Join me for a 90 minute breath practice ‘lifting up, and settling in, settling down’ here…

And now noticing if you can ‘Be here, now’, meaning.. take a moment to experience a deliberate, slow inhalation, allowing your belly to expand, and an equally slow, and long, complete exhalation. You can add a supportive phrase with your breath – ‘Calm, at ease’. Here’s another short breath practice with me, using these words.

2. Cultivate Gratitude

Gratitude is a superpower – it cultivates contentment (which is a more sustainable emotional state than happiness), and is associated with achieving something outside of ourselves.

With the end of year it is easy to get caught up in the busy energy and everything that needs to be done, as well as the relationships you may need to navigate. In all of this, you may miss seeing the good and the blessings around you. Your invitation is to take a minute at the end of the day, when you lie down in bed, to scan through your day and remember (even re-live) 3 moments you are grateful to have experienced. For example, an interaction with someone, something enjoyable you consumed, and an element of nature you witnessed. Here’s me explaining the practice, and a guided practice for you here. This practice is not only calming for your nervous system, it trains your brain to notice the good, which brings more awareness and joy to your daily life.

3. Set Boundaries

In the spirit of self-care, it's important to establish and be clear on your boundaries. Knowing what to say yes to, and equally importantly, what to say no to, is a way to maintain and sustain your energy and wellbeing. Read more about setting healthy boundaries here.

4. Mindful Presence

During this time of year some mindful presence can act as a circuit breaker and give you a moment to recharge. It doesn’t need to be long; it can take as little as 30 seconds to reconnect and be fully present in the moment. Consciously put your phone down, or turn it over, step back from your desk (literally or figuratively) and practise this 3-3-3 grounding exercise with me, or the 5-4-3-2-1 practice. By engaging your senses in the sights, sounds, and tastes of the space around you you will be inviting yourself to savour each moment as it unfolds. For more short activities for mindful presence, browse through my ‘Practise with me - for anxiety and stress relief’ Playlist on Youtube. 

5. Embrace Imperfection

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) reminds us to embrace the imperfections of life. By understanding and appreciating that not everything will go as planned during the holidays, especially at celebratory events, and that this is okay, we can be better prepared to navigate these times. When there is something that you’re not able to control, practise noticing and accepting this, while approaching any challenges that present with kindness and compassion, and flexibility. Like any skill, this will feel easier the more that you practise it.

6. The Power of Focusing

Focusing-Oriented Therapy encourages us to tap into our inner wisdom. One aspect of this is to check in, with your inner experience, and tune in to the body’s intelligence - what is it telling you? Over this holiday season I encourage you to take moments to check in with yourself. You may enquire, ‘What am I truly feeling and needing just now?’ Listening to your inner voice and honouring your emotions and needs is a helpful way to remind yourself that you matter. This self-enquiry can then inform what you do or don’t do, based on what you notice.

7. Mindful Acts of Kindness

The holiday season is a wonderful opportunity for acts of kindness. Whether it's volunteering, reaching out to someone in need, or showing appreciation to your loved ones, mindful acts of kindness can foster a sense of connection and fulfilment.

8. Self-Care Rituals

Can you find ways to integrate self-care into your holiday routine? This may look like scheduling times for self-reflection, time in nature, a meditation practice, a warm bath or a cold swim…. The idea of this is to find an activity which will recharge your spirit, bring you joy, and keep you centred amidst the busyness happening around you. Another tool is to practise self-compassion, as this can also support you in building a self-care routine that truly meets your needs.

9. Mindful Communication

In your interactions with family and friends, you may like to try practising mindful communication. Listen actively and with curiosity and kindness. Mindful listening fosters deeper connections and allows you to feel more connected to your loved ones and to find a way to stay interested in conversations with those relatives or friends who you find more challenging. A loving kindness meditation can be helpful to support you in this endeavour. Here’s one I’ve recorded on YouTube for you.

10. Let Go of Expectations

Finally, where possible, let go of unrealistic expectations. This can allow the coming holiday season to be more joyful, with less stress and upset. When we let go of rigid expectations, we allow space for authentic moments of joy and connection to emerge, which can be really delightful when we relax into this way of being.

I hope these mindful approaches to your holidays encourage you to maintain your self-care and boundaries while nurturing meaningful connections and reducing stress. My wish is for your holidays to be a time where you can cherish the present moment and notice the love that surrounds you. May your celebrations be filled with warmth, compassion, and the mindful awareness that brings deeper fulfilment to this special time of year.

If you’re anticipating challenges over the holiday period, or are experiencing stress, anxiety, depression or any other mental condition please do reach out to your GP, a counsellor or psychologist. Also know there is help, Australia-wide, with these free helplines:

Beyond Blue: 1300 22 46 36

Headspace: 1800 650 890

You can also draw on this list of crisis supports for additional help during this time.